Can My Puppy Sleep In My Bed With Me?
A common question I get asked is where the puppy should sleep. So, can your puppy sleep in your bed with you?
Short answer: yes.
The longer answer: it isn’t quite as straight forward as that.
In terms of helping your puppy settle into their new home and family life with you, having them sleep in bed with you can actually be very helpful. We turn our puppy’s worlds upside down when we first bring them home. Suddenly they no longer have their mum, siblings or familiar surroundings and this can be a very stressful time for them. Being left on their own all night can be really difficult for some puppies and you are likely to find that they wake you up more frequently or much earlier in the morning because of this.
Being close to you, especially in the early days, is going to make your puppy feel more secure and you will likely find they will sleep longer through the night more quickly as a result. That said, before you decide whether your puppy is going to sleep in bed with you, there are some things to consider first.
If you have a partner:
Before you bring your puppy home, discuss with your partner where you want your puppy to sleep and ensure that if you make the decision that your puppy is going to sleep in bed with you, that you’re both happy with this. You wouldn’t believe the amount of arguments last minute decisions over the puppy can cause between couples! Discuss together whether you both want the puppy in bed with you and who will be doing the ‘nightshifts’ and when, because you will have to be getting up through the night to toilet your puppy at first. Unless you’re a night owl, you are likely going to feel tired at first and so having a plan of who is doing what and when and where the puppy is going to go is a very good idea. Much less friction is caused that way!
Are they toilet trained (the puppy, not the partner)?
I would err on the side of not having my puppy in bed with me until they were fully housetrained purely because a bed is a big space for a puppy to toilet on without even waking you in the night. Nobody wants to be cleaning bed sheets every day! Because your puppy is likely to settle much more quickly being close to you overnight, having them sleep in a nice cosy crate right next to the bed rather than in bed with you is just as good. I prefer the material crates to metal ones and I ensure that it is big enough for my puppy to stand, lay comfortably, turn around and stretch, but no bigger than that. This way, your puppy has less space to be able to move away from their sleeping area and toilet inside of it.
Puppy antics:
If your puppy is sleeping in bed with you, there is the real possibility that they will wake in the night without waking you up. Now, as we know, puppies generally don’t make the best decisions for themselves and so an unsupervised puppy roaming around your bedroom at night might not be the best idea, particularly if it runs the risk of your puppy falling out of your bed and injuring themselves. Again, I would be opting for my puppy to sleep beside my bed in a crate initially before removing it or moving it away over time.
Consider long-term:
Whatever decision you choose, remember this is going to set a precedent in some ways. Do you want your puppy sleeping in your bed when they are older? Are they a large breed and will therefore take up a lot of space when fully grown? Is your bed big enough and do you value your sleep? I know this sounds silly, but this is something serious to consider! If my dog was any bigger than she is, I certainly wouldn’t allow her to sleep on my bed with me. If you have decided that you won’t want your dog on your bed when they are older, I would suggest that it is probably best not having them sleep on your bed when they are young.
There is nothing wrong, however with having your puppy sleep in your bedroom with you, my dog sleeps in my bedroom with me, but you do need to decide whether you are happy for this to be the case long-term. That is not to say it is impossible to start with your puppy sleeping upstairs with you at night and then move them to their own bed in your room, downstairs or to a different room long-term, it’s just that you will have set the expectation that your puppy/dog is allowed in your bed as a result. There’s no right or wrong here, you just need to decide what is right for you.
Will it cause separation anxiety?
No. Having your puppy sleep in your bedroom or your bed with you will absolutely not cause them separation anxiety. In fact, we know that it takes around 6 months for puppies to form secure attachment bonds with us and the more available we make ourselves to them in this time, the quicker they become independent. Being close to them in the early stages is actually hugely beneficial in preventing separation anxiety!
We’ve all heard the old school advice of leaving your puppy alone and letting them cry it out overnight. Absolutely do not do this. This is more than likely going to cause a separation anxiety issue rather than build independence in them.
Do you sleep lightly?
Dogs move, snore, dream, shake (a bit like the other half I hear you say) a lot through the night. In all honesty, this can be really annoying. If you value your sleep and want them in the bedroom, get your puppy used to sleeping in their crate initially before swapping that to a bed when they are older, housetrained and old enough to be trusted unsupervised.
What do I do if I don’t want my puppy in the bedroom at all?
That is completely fine. Initially, I recommend that you should sleep in the room that your puppy will be in with them to help them settle and feel secure overnight. You can gradually move yourself out of this room over the course of a week or so. Most people sleep on the sofa or a pull-out bed in the room with their puppy in order to do this.
If your dog does share your bed, it is a good idea to also provide them their own dog bed in the room too so that they feel they have the choice of sleeping areas.
There really is no right or wrong when it comes to having your puppy sleep in bed with you, although it is usually best to have them sleep next to your bed initially in a crate. That said, some puppies sleep in bed with their family and most of these owners have the best sleep without any issues from day one! Whatever you decide, just make sure that everyone is happy with the decision.
Happy training and enjoy your puppy, they don’t stay so little for long xx
